Lost in Translation
by Portrait of a Scribe
Summary: “Damnit, Puppy, you’re making it harder than it needs to be.” Genesis’ jaw DROPPED. What in the wide world was Angeal DOING with Zack, anyway? --Gift fic for all my great readers out there. Happy April Fools' Day! Mentions of AngealxOC. Complete for now.
1. Miscommunication 1

_**Lost In Translation**__**  
By Portrait of a Scribe**_

_**Miscommunication 1.**_

* * *

_"They're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away, hee hee, ha ha, ho ho, ha ha!"  
--Anonymous._

* * *

"Hey, what're you doing with that?" The voice was an almost petulant whine that immediately stopped Genesis and Sephiroth in their tracks just outside the door to Angeal's dorm. They had been on their way to get him to spar with them when the voice had caught them by surprise.

Exchanging glances, Genesis leaned in and pressed his ear to the door while Sephiroth maintained his usual aloof demeanor.

Angeal's low chuckle met their ears. It was a welcome sound, having been all too rare of late since Terra had gone on an extended mission to Wutai.

"I already told you, it won't hurt," Angeal's disembodied voice said. Genesis' brow furrowed in confusion. "Now hold still, or I won't get it right."

"But Angeeeeealllll…" Definitely a whine. A second later, a grunt of frustration met Genesis' ears, and he felt his eyebrows lift as he exchanged another glance with Sephiroth, who just looked downright confused.

"Damnit, Puppy, you're making it harder than it needs to be."

Genesis' jaw dropped. _Dropped, _just like that. He turned, wide-eyed, to find that Sephiroth's eyes were as large and round as dinner plates, his lips reduced to a thin line.

Angeal and… _Zack?!_ What the hell?! Angeal was with Terra. They had been dating for a year and a half, and Genesis and Sephiroth both knew that the couple had been sleeping together for just under a month. So why would Angeal be screwing his apprentice?!

"But Angeeeal!"

"Zack, stop moving!" Angeal was definitely frustrated. "I can't get it out from this angle. Let's try something else."

Genesis felt the blood drain from his face even as he had to force down a slightly-hysterical giggle that bubbled up in his throat.

"Angeal, it hurts!"

"Shut up, stop moving, and take it like a man!" Oh, yeah, Angeal was bordering on angry. Genesis exchanged yet another wide-eyed glance with Sephiroth, mortified and amused at the same time. Sephiroth was white as a sheet.

There came a quick yelp, and then silence.

Then a heavy moan of relief met their ears. And Genesis couldn't take it anymore. Before Sephiroth could stop him, the red-head had pressed the door button and sent it sliding open. Genesis stepped into the dorm, green eyes flashing…

…only to be met with the sight of Angeal standing over Zack at the table in the kitchenette, the boy's arm cradled in a blood-stained white towel. Angeal had a bowl in his hands, and was looking curiously at Genesis as the Red General stared at the scene before him.

It was a second before Genesis found his voice.

"What happened?" he queried. Angeal gave a disapproving look to Zack, who simply looked sheepish.

"He broke a glass and the shards got stuck in his hand," Angeal explained. "Second-Class injections. You know the routine."

Blink, blink. "Oh."

A strange glance to Genesis, and to a pale Sephiroth standing behind him.

"What did you think was going on?" Angeal inquired, frowning.

Genesis grinned affably and just brushed it off.

"Nothing… Nothing at all."

And that was that.

* * *

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Crisis Core or any affiliated characters._

**_Posted 2010-4-1._**

_Little gift-fic for all my readers on this lovely April Fools' Day. XD Hope y'all pranked someone today!_

_The idea came while I was playing around with an "innuendo" fic idea. So... This idea stemmed from that idea stemmed from **that** idea... and so forth. Fun stuff, hm?_

_Hope you liked it, and I'd love to hear your thoughts, good or bad. Thanks for reading!_

_**-P**ortrait of a **S**cribe_


	2. Miscommunication 2

_**Lost in Translation**__**  
By Portrait of a Scribe**_

__

**Miscommunication 2.**

* * *

_"Bark. Meow. Bark! Meow! BARK! MEEEEEEOOOOOWWW! BARK! HISSSSSSS! *SCRATCH* YIPE, YIPE, YIPE, yipe, yipe..."  
--Anonymous._

* * *

"God, I am getting so sick of hearing about it all the time!"

Zack paused, cocking his head to the side as Genesis Rhapsodos' melodic voice met his ears. Why was Genesis in Angeal's quarters? …Oh, right. Best friends, and all.

"Sick of hearing about what?" The voice was feminine, this time. Zack didn't recognize her voice, but she sounded somewhat annoyed. There was the sound of Genesis huffing.

"All I hear about nowadays is his puppy's progress," he said. Zack blinked. Were they talking about him? "It's always the puppy this, or the puppy that. What about me? And Seph? Don't we count for anything?"

The woman made a soothing sound, and Zack listened as someone sighed.

"I'm sure it'll wear off soon," she crooned. Something jingled. "It's the newness of it all. Give it a few weeks, I'm sure things'll settle down once he sees how hyper the boy is."

Hyper?! Zack took some offense to that. He was _not_ hyper! He was ADHD, and proud of- OH, LOOK, _**SQUIRREL!**_

The sound of Genesis' long, drawn-out groan dragged his attention back to the conversation at hand, and Zack had to fight the urge to blush. After all, nobody but he had noticed his lapse in attention. But he was no stranger to activities that could make a man groan like that. After all, he did have two perfectly good ears- recently enhanced by Mako, to boot! _And_ he had lived in the Cadet barracks for two years. Plus his current dorm-mate was very… 'nocturnal' was a good word for it.

"Terra…" Genesis' voice was almost a petulant whine. Zack frowned. 'Terra?' Wasn't that Angeal's girlfriend?

There was the sound of heavy breathing. Zack felt his face flare red even as the bottom dropped out of his stomach.

Heavy breathing plus groaning plus whining Genesis equals…

Oh. Oh, dear. Oh, what was he going to tell _Angeal?!_ _Should_ he tell his mentor? After all, Angeal could have quite the temper when he allowed it to appear. What would he do to Genesis and Terra if he found out? …What would he do to _Zack?!_

Terra was giggling. "Stop that! You're getting me all slobbery!"

"Oh, shut up, would you?" Genesis was sounding really childish, there. "Scratch it _there_ and maybe it'll stop wiggling."

Zack inhaled his tongue.

Angeal found him a moment later as he approached his dorm from the elevators. Zack, by that time, was choking quietly, and his condition was not helped in the least when he saw what his mentor was carrying: a long, leather leash, a box of dog biscuits, and a leather collar that looked just big enough to fit around a small woman's neck.

Angeal blinked with confusion at his apprentice, and tilted his head to the side with a frown.

"Zack… are you okay?" he asked. Zack looked frantically from Angeal to the door, and then hastily moved to block it. He would put up with a lot of things, but his mentor's temper when he found out? That was _not_ one of them.

"Angeal, I… I think there's something you need to know…"

Angeal blinked, and then blinked again. "What is it?"

"Well, you see," Zack began, fidgeting with his gloves and the hem of his SOLDIER 2nd Class uniform shirt. He couldn't look Angeal in the eye. "Genesisisinthere-and-Terrastheretoo-and-Genesiswascomplaining-and-Terrawassayingsomething-and-therewasagroan-and-thentherewaspantingand… and…"

Angeal had somehow managed to keep up with that sentence. His eyebrow climbed higher.

"So… You think my girlfriend is sleeping with my best friend behind my back?" he asked incredulously. Zack gave him a helpless shrug, looking dismayed. Angeal shook his head, laughing, and reached past Zack to push the button that would slide the door open. As it hissed along its track behind him Zack felt his spine stiffen as the sound of quick breathing was magnified, as well as feminine giggles.

Angeal gestured to the room behind Zack. "Would you care to join us?"

The bark of a puppy and the jingle of a collar met Zack's ears.

Zack choked again.

Oh. _That_ puppy.

* * *

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Crisis Core or any affiliated characters. I only own Terra and the puppy (NOT Zack!)._

**_Posted 2010-4-11._**

_Ah, what can I say? Inspiration struck again. This image of Angeal with a dog collar and leash popped into my head randomly and I just __**had**__ to work out a situation to put it into practice with._

_Terra is Angeal's girlfriend. If you're curious about her, I have a little bit of her backstory written into a chapter of __**Cast Me Gently Into Morning**__. Not much, but there's some, and I have another story pending with her in it. In fact, she shows up in most of my FFVII stories, nowadays... She's one of my favorite OCs. XD What can I say? Angeal's just too popular for his own good. P:_

_Hope you liked it, and a big thank you goes to __**YourChemicalRomancex**__ and __**fetherhd**__ for reviewing chapter 1. You guys are awesome! And also, thank you to __**Sheyrena Wyrsabane**__ for adding this story to your favorites. I'm glad you all liked it!_

_Don't know when, or if, I'll post another "Miscommunication." Probably when inspiration strikes again._

_In the immortal words of Tigger... "TTFN, ta-ta for now!" P:_

_-__**P**__ortrait of a __**S**__cribe_


	3. Miscommunication 3

_**Lost in Translation**__**  
By Portrait of a Scribe**_

__

**Miscommunication 3.**

* * *

_"There are well over fifty fun things to do in an elevator. Ever tried any?"  
--Anonymous._

* * *

Zack was carrying a backpack. Not that that in itself was unusual, considering that he was still taking classes on tactics and the like between his duties as a SOLDIER 2nd Class (he preened a little at the thought) and training sessions with Angeal. What was unusual was that he was holding it in his hands and standing in the _back_ of an elevator… like he had been for the past hour and a half.

So it was that, when Angeal got on board, he was immediately suspicious of his student's behavior. Knowing him as well as he did, Angeal also recognized when something was amiss. However, he figured that it couldn't be anything too terrible, otherwise some kind of mayhem would have already ensued.

"Zack," Angeal greeted. Zack grinned at his mentor.

"Hey, Angeal," he returned, and then fell silent again. The elevator stopped two floors down, and he still hadn't said a word aside from his initial greeting. Several more Shinra employees got on, packing into the already-cramped space, and Angeal found himself pressed against the back wall, shoulder to shoulder with Zack, who clutched his book bag to his chest, wrapping his arms around it in an almost protective manner.

Was Angeal the only one who noticed that half of the new arrivals were Turks? He spotted one up near the front, her raven hair done up in a clip that left some of her tresses to fall loosely about her shoulders.

"Chie!" Angeal called. The Turk in question turned inquisitively at the sound of her name, and then smiled slightly when she saw who it was.

"Angeal," she greeted, waving slightly. "Good to see you again."

Angeal nodded at her. "You, too. I don't think I've seen you since yours and Terra's birthday party."

Chie's smile widened slightly. "'Sir Commandant' has been running me ragged."

Angeal thoughtfully raised his eyebrows as the elevator stopped again to admit more passengers. Chie carefully made her way to the back, squishing in on Zack's other side. The boy tightened his grip on his bag.

_Squeak._

Angeal's gaze flew to the backpack, frowning slightly. Had that bag just _squeaked?_

He looked back up to Chie to see her looking at him with a similar expression on her face. After all, Chie Jerrel wasn't a Turk for nothing. She was even more perceptive than her twin, Terra Jerrel, Angeal's current girlfriend. Chie wouldn't have missed that sound for anything.

Angeal turned a suspicious gaze onto his student, but said nothing, facing forward again. Chie shook her head and did the same.

When the elevator stopped a third time and even more bodies entered the space, Zack fidgeted. A whole second after the doors closed and the lift began moving again, he moved.

Unzipping his backpack, Angeal watched as he peered inside of it and asked, _loudly,_ "Hey, Murphy, you still alive in there?"

And the disconcerted passengers bore witness to the sight of Angeal Hewley's cheeks coloring red as he covered his face and tried to hide the fact that he was laughing his ass off.

Zack just grinned sweetly and, when the elevator was empty again but for himself, his mentor, and the raven-haired female Turk, pulled out a common squeaky toy made for dogs.

Grin widening, he clenched his fist around the ball-shaped object.

_SQUEAKY-SQUEAKY-SQUAWK-SQUEAK!_

Angeal cracked up.

* * *

_**Disclaimer:** Don't own it. I only own Chie and Terra Jerrel, as well as the squeaky toy. XD_

_**Posted 2010-4-17.**_

_Hope you all enjoyed this one as much as I did._

_The plot bunnies keep biting. This one actually almost happened to me in real life. Seriously. We had just gotten done at the doctor's office, and my mom, brother, and I were in a crowded elevator. I had a backpack on, and headphones in my ears, and I felt a tug at my backpack, so I looked back at my brother (he's younger than me) and he was looking innocent. My mom waited until we had gotten off the elevator to tell my brother that he should've opened my backpack and said, "Hey, are you okay in there?"_

_Needless to say, I cracked up. I remembered that moment, and just had to write this one because it's something I can **totally** see Zack doing._

_Chie is Terra's identical twin sister, and is a Turk, if you couldn't tell. She's not mentioned much in **Cast Me Gently Into Morning**, really just in passing. But here she is... She's actually with Sephiroth, I think, as far as most of my fics go._

_Me? I'm a Zerith, Cloti, and Yuffentine fan, myself, and I don't do yaoi._

_Thank you to **Calenlass Greenleaf1** and **YourChemicalRomancex** for reviewing the last chapter! You guys are awesome, and I'm really glad you liked it so much!_

_Don't know when the next chapter will be out. Thanks for reading!_

_-**P**ortrait of a **S**cribe_


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